Void of Space

I feel sick.

And not the illness sick, either.

Well... maybe.

I feel forgotten, or rejected. I feel empty, and I hurt. I've nearly started crying myself to sleep again. I drown myself in work of any kind to get away from it all, and most of this work I don't even get paid for.

And I'm going to shoot my computer if pop-ups keep interrupting me. I'm fucking tired of this.

It's almost like I feel as if everyone just deserted me, and lied to me. But I don't know if they really did. Amanda's going to be moving farther away, and I can't do anything but bitch and cry and make myself sick over it. I can't change her mind, and everyone knows it.

And I'm still worrying about the whole Rachael-and-I-growing-distant thing. What if she doesn't want me to come visit? What if -she- doesn't want to come and visit? What if everything just blows up in my face, again?

This is stupid.

At least English is my only bad grade. High D range. Everything else is C+ to A. And graphic design is the only C+ I'm aware of.

I tried to get away from it all, and I had hoped transferring to Peetz would let me start over completely. But it hasn't. Everything is still here, the pain and depression and lonliness is still here. I can't get away from it. I suppose even flat-out moving wouldn't be enough to get away from it all. Even moving to another country.

I can't get much more extreme than that without landing myself in a 3x6 ft box with a two-piece lid...

I may as well work on Alastrine. I have no reason to play Ying anymore, but I can't get myself to delete her.