Void of Space

I hate how I get these chainletters than have you make a wish while you scroll down. Lots of people make really important wishes, like "I want to be with so-and-so" or "I want to do this" or "I want to be that".

You don't need chainletters to make it happen.

If it's supposed to be, it will. If you work hard, you may get it.

Tired, kinda lonely... more tired than anything.

'Night.

I'm depressed.

Like, very depressed.

I have no real reason, and I don't want to talk about the possible reasons.

Yeah, that's right. I'm just sitting here writing about my being depressed.

Eh.

I hope it's just the weather.

You know how you want to tell someone important to you something important, but you're scared that what you want to say will affect said important person in a bad way? Like keeping them from having a good social life, or getting the chance to be close with someone, or something like that?

That's the risk I feel I run whenever I write in this.

Makes me want to change the addy to protect those people.

Well.... I suppose it'd be better to change it to "that person", but...

I'll leave it for those people. (Even if I'm only aware this affects one... maybe two people. One for certain.)

I do not want to wash dishes for a wedding party. Hell, I don't want to SEE a wedding party, unless I have to be in the damn thing. Last night (saturday night) I washed nearly every dish and piece of silverware and pot and pan and lid in Buffalo Point. But at least I got lots of leftovers.

I want Rachael to come here during Christmas break, but she said her folks had something to go to in New York. I almost made a joke and said "But New York is in the wrong direction!" but my brain was still making sense of the new information.

All I have to say is that if this December plan doesn't work out, the first big thing I'm doing after graduation is driving my butt to Chicago. Unless by then she doesn't want me to come. :(

Thing is, whenever I plan too far ahead, things always blow up in my face. And I really hate it when that happens.

Got my motorcycle helmet earlier this week. $96 well spent, in my opinion. Now all I need is that downpayment from the folks (hell, half the downpayment!) and then I can get the bike and start on the monthly payments.

Got my ear pierced, too. Last month. But one ear, uno, ichi. The right one. Ordered two pairs of hoop earrings (PRIDE!) but I can't wear them until late jan./early feb. so I need to stick to studs until then. This just means I need to look for some studs I like.

Gotta go, tired. Insonmia is finally wearing off.

Sometimes I feel like people only talk to me when I'm the only one there. Take work, for instance. Kenny only talks to me if no one else is there. The moment Vons comes in, or some random buser, he takes off and chats it up with them. It's not that I mind or anything, but when I try to ask a question or get help, I'm brushed aside.

This happened in Sidney High, too. But now I've transferred. And now I'm hoping the same doesn't happen in Peetz.

I think that the only thing that has gone right today is that my motorcycle helmet came in this morning.

I'm too moody to write much else. Later.