Monday, July 25, 2005
Why do I feel like this? I shouldn't feel like this. It's none of my business if she does whatever with whoever. Movies, party, games, or otherwise. None of my damn business.
She isn't mine anymore... sometimes I wish she could be, but... I don't know. I want her back, but I'm scared that....
Well, I'm scared I'm just gonna be used again.
I wish these feelings would just go away. I don't want to feel, it hurts too much. I cry, I bitch, I beg... and I hate myself for it. I hate Fate for it, and I hate Life for it.
People tell me it would make sense for me to be angry at her, or hate her as well. But I can't... I just can't.
I wish I knew what to do, or how to handle this. Or what to say... what to think.
(I don't know if you can see this... or if you understand. I like to believe you really care, and mean what you say, and I'll keep it up no matter how many times people verbally thrash me for it... I don't want to be left behind, damnit...)
She isn't mine anymore... sometimes I wish she could be, but... I don't know. I want her back, but I'm scared that....
Well, I'm scared I'm just gonna be used again.
I wish these feelings would just go away. I don't want to feel, it hurts too much. I cry, I bitch, I beg... and I hate myself for it. I hate Fate for it, and I hate Life for it.
People tell me it would make sense for me to be angry at her, or hate her as well. But I can't... I just can't.
I wish I knew what to do, or how to handle this. Or what to say... what to think.
(I don't know if you can see this... or if you understand. I like to believe you really care, and mean what you say, and I'll keep it up no matter how many times people verbally thrash me for it... I don't want to be left behind, damnit...)
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