Saturday, July 23, 2005
I've felt like a caged, wild animal. I can't help it. I feel trapped... I want to be free.
Legally, I can't be completely "free" until... what, 25? Stupid. You are deemed worthy to die for your country at 18, but you can't sign a damn contract or rent a car till your 21 or 25...
I suppose I just want to get out. Experience life for myself, find someone who I'm happy with... thing is, the one I (still) want told me not to tie myself down to her. It was a long time ago, well over a year, but I still remember it. I remember the empty painful feeling, the loneliness, the utterly lost feeling...
And I remember thinking that it was too late.
I don't even know if she still wants me. I still feel the exact same feelings for her as I did when we were dating.
She knows who she is....
************
The infection that was in my right eye is finally gone. Now I can wear contact again.
Dunno where Matt went... the guy who cuts my hair. I've tried to get him to pierce my right ear since Wednesday, and apparently, I ask too many questions. I supposedly made him too nervous to pierce my ear.
So I had a bad experience in the mall when I was little.... I just had "a few" questions. ;) Maybe I'll catch him tomorrow.
Nothing else for now.
Legally, I can't be completely "free" until... what, 25? Stupid. You are deemed worthy to die for your country at 18, but you can't sign a damn contract or rent a car till your 21 or 25...
I suppose I just want to get out. Experience life for myself, find someone who I'm happy with... thing is, the one I (still) want told me not to tie myself down to her. It was a long time ago, well over a year, but I still remember it. I remember the empty painful feeling, the loneliness, the utterly lost feeling...
And I remember thinking that it was too late.
I don't even know if she still wants me. I still feel the exact same feelings for her as I did when we were dating.
She knows who she is....
************
The infection that was in my right eye is finally gone. Now I can wear contact again.
Dunno where Matt went... the guy who cuts my hair. I've tried to get him to pierce my right ear since Wednesday, and apparently, I ask too many questions. I supposedly made him too nervous to pierce my ear.
So I had a bad experience in the mall when I was little.... I just had "a few" questions. ;) Maybe I'll catch him tomorrow.
Nothing else for now.
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