Monday, June 13, 2005
I don't know if I should go to Pride... Rachael can't come, because of an incident with part of her medication... but I really want to go.
I guess I was sorta looking forward to this for a few months. Pride and all, and getting to finally see her. Now I just have to wait longer.
Haven't had my own pill in over a month. I just don't care anymore. I had a huge breakdown today, early this morning. I'm glad I made it to the hotel room in time, cause I refuse to let people see me like that. I just can't do it.
I am missing $100. I have no idea how it disappeared. It was in my bag one minute, in the hotel room of a friend's mom, and then I went to the beach. When I came back to get it so I could do some shopping, it was gone. That was supposed to be for getting my board back to the mainland. Now I have to bum money of someone to get it back, and then I have to pay them and one other person back (the other person got me into tonights Luau. It was alright, but I was still depressed).
I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel so... alone. Depressed. Empty. Abandoned. I don't know how to handle anything anymore.
Maybe... I'll go to Illinois. Maybe I'll see Rachael after Pride, and work... maybe I'll even show up on the doorstep.
I dunno.
Gotta go.
I guess I was sorta looking forward to this for a few months. Pride and all, and getting to finally see her. Now I just have to wait longer.
Haven't had my own pill in over a month. I just don't care anymore. I had a huge breakdown today, early this morning. I'm glad I made it to the hotel room in time, cause I refuse to let people see me like that. I just can't do it.
I am missing $100. I have no idea how it disappeared. It was in my bag one minute, in the hotel room of a friend's mom, and then I went to the beach. When I came back to get it so I could do some shopping, it was gone. That was supposed to be for getting my board back to the mainland. Now I have to bum money of someone to get it back, and then I have to pay them and one other person back (the other person got me into tonights Luau. It was alright, but I was still depressed).
I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel so... alone. Depressed. Empty. Abandoned. I don't know how to handle anything anymore.
Maybe... I'll go to Illinois. Maybe I'll see Rachael after Pride, and work... maybe I'll even show up on the doorstep.
I dunno.
Gotta go.
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