Void of Space

Yawn..... I did not sleep well last night. Again, woke up a lot, and I think I was tossing and turning.

I watched some of Dances With Wolves last night, before I went to sleep. I cried when they (the white soldiers) killed Two Socks the wolf (I think that's what his name was). The wolf was a sort of companion for Dances With Wolves, a White soldier who was accepted into a Souix community.

Whenever I think about how cruel people really are, I get... extremely angry. If it weren't for the fact that I'm so sensitive and empathic (and Wiccan to boot) I'd be an extremely violent person who would do nothing with her life but hunt people like that down.

But because I was brought up the way I was, and because I am empathic and Wiccan, I won't and can't. I hate myself after I stop being violent. When I got into a fight last year, I hated myself after my adrenalin rush had gone. When Melanie said what she did, I got violent but couldn't do anything about it. I was sore for a very long time. And no, I didn't cut, either. Ever get your muscles so tense and knotted that it hurts like hell afterwards? Yeah, that's what happened.

I have been inspired to write a story. I have the outline going. I can't find the journal I was using for my other one... I hope no one threw that away. Had an outline going for that one, too. And since this one is based on a true story... it'll be a while before it gets anywhere near done.

Ever think it weird when someone says "So and so never finished their autobiography"? Well, duh. What are they gonna write? "And then my time came to di-::scribble-scribble-scribble::"

Wow, I'm suddenly very giddy.