Void of Space

She called! I really hadn't expected it, but she did! I had started to think that she would never call... but she did. I'm glad she did. I got a few things figured out (like she is not in Denver, has been and will be doing things I wouldn't, but it's not my right to object.) Now that I've heard her.... I'm feeling much better. Mentally and emotionally, mostly. Physically is a whole 'nother bucket of crap; I feel like what's in that bucket.

She's got a girlfriend... but I've refused to get into another long-distance relationship. At least she isn't alone.... it still made me depressed, but on another level, relieved. Maybe I don't have to worry as much.

Of course, I don't listen very well.

I still miss her... and I still miss my chance. But at least she's alright. Maybe now that I've heard her, I can look forward to seeing her again. I'd like to see her at Pride, in case we both go... but I don't want to hold my breath for that one. Mom still isn't sure about letting me go, and Amanda said she wasn't sure if she'd be able to make it.

But I've heard her. I feel better... But it's weird. For a while there, I had begun to give up everything. And now, all of a sudden, I've got the will to go on a bit longer.

I'm not so sure about this feeling...