Saturday, January 29, 2005
Mom wants me to stay away from Amanda... she says she'll just drag me down.
Nancy says I need to seriously think about what sort of relationship I want, and what sort of relationship I'm likely to get. Nancy also said she thinks I'm being led on... and sometimes, I can't help but feel that way as well.
She says she cares, but she doesn't say how. Sometimes, I wonder if any of it really ment anything, like she said it did. I want her to prove them wrong... but it'll be a cold day in hell before she does that. Besides, she's engaged...
No one really wants to hear my opionion about that one. I don't think they've been dating that long, unless she's cheated on everyone and lied to me. Which has already happened, but there may be more...
I need.... to get out of here. I need to find someone worthwhile, who isn't going to lie to me or use me or lead me on. Someone who's responsible and loyal and understanding, and caring...
"There is someone out there for you, but he's not it. Just stop looking so hard, you'll find him when the time is right." That's what mom said... I have no right to say that to Amanda, but engagements are serious. You're engaged to someone that you plan to spend the rest of your life with. If you want that... that's fine, no one can stop you. Just don't regret it later on.
"Regret nothing, at one time you wanted it."
This is gonna hurt... but if I don't say anything now, I never will, and I'll sink like a rock.
God, what should I do....
Nancy says I need to seriously think about what sort of relationship I want, and what sort of relationship I'm likely to get. Nancy also said she thinks I'm being led on... and sometimes, I can't help but feel that way as well.
She says she cares, but she doesn't say how. Sometimes, I wonder if any of it really ment anything, like she said it did. I want her to prove them wrong... but it'll be a cold day in hell before she does that. Besides, she's engaged...
No one really wants to hear my opionion about that one. I don't think they've been dating that long, unless she's cheated on everyone and lied to me. Which has already happened, but there may be more...
I need.... to get out of here. I need to find someone worthwhile, who isn't going to lie to me or use me or lead me on. Someone who's responsible and loyal and understanding, and caring...
"There is someone out there for you, but he's not it. Just stop looking so hard, you'll find him when the time is right." That's what mom said... I have no right to say that to Amanda, but engagements are serious. You're engaged to someone that you plan to spend the rest of your life with. If you want that... that's fine, no one can stop you. Just don't regret it later on.
"Regret nothing, at one time you wanted it."
This is gonna hurt... but if I don't say anything now, I never will, and I'll sink like a rock.
God, what should I do....
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