Void of Space

Maybe I was a bit harsh in the below entry... but I don't feel like editing.

Not sure how much longer Becca's computer is gonna last, anyway.

I don't know why she doesn't believe me, though. When I said I was sorry.

I gotta stop talking about this, maybe that's why she doesn't believe me.

But she's the one who wanted to know what went on in my head, so here it is. For all I know, she doesn't read this anymore. For all I know, she doesn't read my e-mails.

For all I know, the note I got from her was a suicide letter and she's six-feet under right now.

...Okay, that's extremely unrealistic, because even -I- don't think she'd go that far. Granted, what she told me she was doing is something that could lead to that, but I've still got enough faith in her to know she won't do that.

I hope...

Can't cut, mom won't let me near anything sharp. Not working at Perkins anymore, and I won't go back there ever. Being there makes me depressed.

I just wish she'd call, though. I want to know that she's alright, and that she's at least acknowledged my apology. Not accepted, just at least acknowledged.

And I want to let her know that she shouldn't be sorry for getting me involved in her "screwed up" life. She's not screwed up... just reluctant to let anyone care about her.

I better get this addy changed, or find something else to talk about. Or she'll think I've gone off the deep end.