Void of Space

I'm so scared that Amanda is going to say no. And probably because she may have to work on Friday night, when I wanted to take her out to eat. But that's what depresses me. She'll call in for work for someone who calls her in the middle of the goddamned night, because they didn't want to wait a few more hours for the sun to rise. But she won't call in for someone who respects her enough to let her sleep (and not call between midnight and 4 AM, or when she's at work, or at school...)

Maybe I'm not important enough. Maybe she doesn't care as much as she said she did. Maybe I'm just being selfish and demanding and jealous. Maybe I'm the one that's in the wrong. Maybe I'm blowing this completely out of proportion.

I shouldn't be like this. But I'm glad I don't listen to warnings as well as many people wish I did. It may not have gotten as far as it had. But I want it to really mean something... to both of us.