Saturday, December 25, 2004
I may have made the biggest mistake of my life.
But I had to get it out, I had to let her know. Even if she's giving me the silent treatment, I still had to let her know.
Saying good-bye... is not something I've ever enjoyed. God knows how much I hate that word. How much I hate the concept. How lonely it makes me feel.
But I can't go on like this.
Now... maybe the real healing can begin.
Sometimes, I wish Rachael and I were still together. I was comfortable with her, even with the roles... okay, that sounded wrong on so many levels, and that's not exactly what I ment. I'm too tired and depressed and lonely to be perverted right now.
But I miss Rachael. I miss talking to her as much as I used to. I miss the happy-and-whole feeling I had with her. But maybe what she did was for the best, maybe she's right. I don't like feeling forgotten, though.
I need to go cry myself to sleep right now.
But I had to get it out, I had to let her know. Even if she's giving me the silent treatment, I still had to let her know.
Saying good-bye... is not something I've ever enjoyed. God knows how much I hate that word. How much I hate the concept. How lonely it makes me feel.
But I can't go on like this.
Now... maybe the real healing can begin.
Sometimes, I wish Rachael and I were still together. I was comfortable with her, even with the roles... okay, that sounded wrong on so many levels, and that's not exactly what I ment. I'm too tired and depressed and lonely to be perverted right now.
But I miss Rachael. I miss talking to her as much as I used to. I miss the happy-and-whole feeling I had with her. But maybe what she did was for the best, maybe she's right. I don't like feeling forgotten, though.
I need to go cry myself to sleep right now.
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