Void of Space

I feel really... depressed. I was supposed to be off work at 1:15, but I never got out until 4-5something. Did not have a good day, was not supposed to come in due to being sick (but I did. Apparently, I'm a lifesaver. Had I not come in, they would have had only 4 (5?) people working the floor. Which would have been really nasty today). I got my ass kicked over and over and over again...

And I'm using my sister's computer. It sucks, really bad.

I'm also feeling, I dunno, lonely. More of a depressed-lonely than the need-someone-here-lonely. I haven't had one day that has been totally good since.... well, can't remember. It's been a -long- time, though.

I was so close to losing it today in Perkins. I was on the brink of tears. I was tired, sore, sick... I almost couldn't take it. I was shaking and having a hard time breathing. No one has ever seen me cry... the only people not in my family who've seen me cry have been Emma and her folks. And that was when Rachael broke up with me, which was in... March. Over half a year ago.

Weekend? What weekend? What "fall vacation"? Didn't have one, I worked the whole time. Or slept, depending on my health condition. I did not go out anywhere, with anyone. No one came to see me, no one invited me anywhere, no one called me. I did nothing for myself, it was all for other people. Some weekend... ;_; ;_;