Void of Space

I've lost her.... there's no way I'll get that chance. Tempted to post a poem I wrote recently... Maybe I will.

Now I want to slaughter the lyrics of every fucking love song I hear. After everything that's happened to me, how can I believe in it? At least, when I graduate, I can finally leave all this behind. Start over somewhere else, somewhere far away. Where no one is gonna know me, no one will judge me like they do here.... no one will care if I'm gay or not. If I'm a witch or not. If I'm slow or if I'm fast. People won't help me when I don't want to be helped, won't make me feel like I'm incompetent, like I can't do anything without assistance...

Just so you know, I've been like this since Friday night. So I've been this miserable for roughly two days, and I don't see how I can possibly go any lower. Cause if I do, I won't be coming back up.

I feel so violent... I yelled at dad. I want to break something, hurt something.... I've never been like this before. And I'm going to go suicidal if I pull another blank rune from my rune bag.

It's been a while since I've used my Cards... they're probably mad at me. -_-;; They give me inappropriate/illogical/rediculous readings when they get like that. (For those of you not tarot devotes, you're going to think I'm off my rocker. Not too far off the truth... but get over it.)

Hmm... I think I need to rewrite this poem. It's not sitting right with me. I guess I'll reword it, try again. But my mind is a jumbled mess... there's no way I'll be able to focus proberly.