Void of Space

I feel so... rejected. Well, no, that's too strong a word. Maybe it's empty... Yeah, that's it. Empty.

When I got her note, I had a hard time with it. I couldn't get my emotions out right, couldn't express it, almost couldn't handle it. I was so frustrated, so angry, that the first response I sent to her was mostly out of anger. I ended up thinking about it for a while, and decided to go talk to her at Perkins. Afterwards, I realized I was wrong in my first response, and sent her another note as an apology.

She said she "just couldn't do it", just couldn't tell me to my face. I don't know if I can believe her... she said she'd still be there for me if I'd stick around. She said she was sorry. But how do I know she's telling the truth? She's lied to me twice that I know of. How do I know that she won't do it again? It hurts to know she lied about her feelings. I doubt I'll ever get that chance. I'm beginning to think I'm better off turning myself asexual.

I'm just glad she came clean before anything happened.

It took me over six months to get over Rachael. (Alright, so I'll never be over her, but I was able to move on.)

I'm thankful she told me before I tried to take the relationship farther. But... it still hurts. A lot.