Tuesday, May 18, 2004
Beau's going to be put down today... I feel so alone now.
I don't have anyone to talk to, except my own family. I could always talk to Derek, and it's not that I don't want to, but I want to talk to someone I feel close to.
Problem is, I don't have anyone that I feel that close to anymore. I was left for someone else. Probably for the best anyway, I just need to learn to rely on myself instead of others. I suppose I'm going to get a hard lesson on that one...
But Beau... he's been with me my whole life. It'll be like losing my best friend (no matter how much common sense he's lost...) and it'll tear me apart. I don't know how long this give-give deal is going to last, but I want it to stop. I'm tired of doing all these things and having nothing to show for it, or getting nothing in return.
I guess that's kinda selfish of me, but it would get anyone down. Kinda discouraging, huh?
I don't have anyone to talk to, except my own family. I could always talk to Derek, and it's not that I don't want to, but I want to talk to someone I feel close to.
Problem is, I don't have anyone that I feel that close to anymore. I was left for someone else. Probably for the best anyway, I just need to learn to rely on myself instead of others. I suppose I'm going to get a hard lesson on that one...
But Beau... he's been with me my whole life. It'll be like losing my best friend (no matter how much common sense he's lost...) and it'll tear me apart. I don't know how long this give-give deal is going to last, but I want it to stop. I'm tired of doing all these things and having nothing to show for it, or getting nothing in return.
I guess that's kinda selfish of me, but it would get anyone down. Kinda discouraging, huh?
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